I went to Bangi and IOI for one whole day and bought NOTHING

Today’s weight: 65.0kg

Breakfast: 1oz whole rolled oats cooked with water and a dash of chicken stock and paprika, two fried eggs, 1 apple

Lunch: 1/2 cup cooked white rice (added for breastfeeding), 4oz chicken fried with pounded chillis, onions and garlic, salad (shredded carrot, cucumber slices, cherry tomatoes, sauteed white mushrooms with 1tbsp mayonnaise and a dash of mustard), 1 apple

Dinner: Same as lunch, minus the apple

I think by now, many of you already know that I am somewhat a minimalist. I hate clutter. I even hate stuff in general. For the past year and a half (and even a few months before that, before I married my husband), I went on a decluttering spree and got rid of a lot of my stuff.

Clothes. Books. My keychain collection. Art supplies. More clothes. Random items. Old certificates. Old keepsakes. Anything that doesn’t have a function. Anything I don’t use. Anything I forgot even existed. A lot more clothes.

Recently I did another purge and got rid of 3 bags of clothes. I am left with just a few items in my wardrobe, and I am completely happy with that.

One day, my sister asked me to accompany her to Bangi and IOI to do some shopping and surveying. From 10am to 6pm, we were there, going in and out of boutiques, looking at clothes and scarves and everything else. My husband gave me RM200 to spend on a new clothing item: a new scarf, a blouse, anything.

I ended up not buying anything at all.

Well, nothing except two Auntie Anne’s pretzels and a cup of lemonade.

This is new to me. Seriously. Before this, I’ve always been a shopper. It’s just wrong to go somewhere (especially Bangi or IOI) and not come back with at least one item of clothing. The clothes and scarved weren’t even expensive, which I think has to do with it being after-Raya season. I had examined and tried a few scarves and shawls which were as low as RM10 or RM20. But each time, I’d consider whether I actually really truly love the item and I end up putting it back.

Decluttering has made me happy with less. Much less. It has curbed my spending habits tremendously and this applies to all shopping. I’ll buy something if I need it and love it. I am in need of new sandals for the past six months, but I still have not bought a pair yet. I’m kinda experimenting to see how far I can go without it, and to find a pair that really speaks to my soul.

Now that I’m on this meal plan, my life feels so free, so simple. I don’t stand in front of the closet pulling out one shirt after another to figure out what to wear for that day. I don’t break my brain figuring out what to cook for that evening. I just go with the flow, and free my mind from these everyday things to think about what really matters, like where my company will go from here and what I excel at.

I have now truly subscribed to the reality that getting rid and purging your stuff is the first step towards pushing yourself to where you want to be. If you’ve ever felt like you don’t know what you’re doing in life, I suggest you declutter. To me, it was a process of almost a year now, but the benefits are endless. I am not a slave to the commercial world anymore and it feels wonderful. I can appreciate a dress or a pair of shoes for its beauty without wanting it for myself.

Now, I have an idea of who I want to be. And slowly, I’m going to take baby steps forward to invest in my wardrobe to buy things that reflect that image of who I am, and who I want to become. In the meantime, I have 52 days of clean eating to go, and I’m already reaping the benefits and feel the changes happening in myself.

Day 4 of Bright Line Eating

In the book, it explains that there is a part of our brain, as we go along this journey, that’ll whisper that it’s “okay” to have that one piece of cake, or that we “deserve” the slice of pizza. The book calls this voice in our head the Saboteur, and its intention is exactly that: to sabotage our effort to change our diet. Why? Because our brain is not getting its usual dose of dopamine from sugar and flour, so it wants that dose back.

Saboteur has talked to me a lot today. Telling me to put just a teaspoon of sugar in my coffee. Have a quick snack to ease a bit of my hunger. Telling me that I’m close to losing 2kg already, so I can cut myself some slack.

And my mind keeps on going no, no, NO.

The thing is, I think it’s much easier if you’re only saying no to yourself. But to say no to good friends, or family members, is harder. And let’s just say, today my lines were not very bright, sad to say. My meal portions were bright though.

But this is a story to share tomorrow.

Until then!

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